


Lil-BatCat Madness

by FanWriter83



Series: Cat in Wayne Manor [1]
Category: Gotham - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 15:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11038926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanWriter83/pseuds/FanWriter83
Summary: After Jim told her to stay at Wayne Manor, Selina tries to drive Alfred crazy with her cheeky antics and tries to pull Bruce into the craziness to make him loosen up a bit. Result, the poor boy's hormones make everything even more difficult for himself and Alfred, while making it more fun for Selina.





	1. Selina's First Day At Wayne Manor

_“Pretty heavy for a cheap thing,”_ Selina thinks to herself when she lifted the ‘expensive’ looking vase up in her hands. Without her knowing it, Bruce walks towards her from behind.

“Selina, what are you doing?”

Bruce’s voice startled the young girl and instead of catching the vase she just tossed into the air, she turns around and meets Bruce’s eyes.

_“Why is he so freaky quiet when he moves?”_

The sound of crashing porcelain knocks her from her thoughts and follows Bruce’s shocked expression. That’s when she found the shattered vase in front of her feet.

“Miss Kyle!” Alfred’s booming voice bellowed from inside the kitchen, and Selina’s eyes widen in utter fear then looks anxiously into Bruce’s eyes.

Bruce kept his shocked expression on his face when he whispered; “You are in so much trouble.”

“No I’m not,” Selina replied then her lips curls into a mischievous smile. Bruce however, looks at her, questioned, and Alfred’s footsteps approach in the background. “You are the one he finds here.”

Before Bruce even had the chance to respond to that, Selina runs towards the front door and disappears outside, right at the same time Alfred walks around the corner and pops up behind Bruce.

Alfred looks confused at the shattered vase then meets Bruce’s eyes. His eyes slowly fill with disappointment.

Bruce’s upper lip starts to tremble slightly, then points at the open front door in an accusing manner, and the butler knows what it means.

Alfred drags in a tired sigh then grabs the broom and starts sweeping the shatters up and mutters; “She will so pay for this.”

* * *

“Relax old man, I’ll figure it out,” Selina retorted back at the butler after he told her he was not going to prepare breakfast for her because she had overslept. That’s when she also returned into the large mansion.

Selina smiled to herself when she entered the kitchen. She’ll show the butler how cheeky she can be.

_“Cats always get what they want. Even if it means they have to snatch it for themselves.”_

Selina opens the fridge with a wide grin and went straight for the milk bottle.

“I can make you some pancakes to go with that,” Bruce said, who entered the kitchen without her knowing it and popped up behind her.

Selina simply shrugged and closed the fridge door.

“This will do.”

The young girl perches herself onto the kitchen table, unscrews the bottle and takes a big gulp. Then she wipes her mouth and asks; “Where is your buddy butler anyway? Did he realize he’s too old for boxing practice?”

Bruce just smiled. He knew by now how to ignore her cheeky comments.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

Selina shakes her head, then her ears pick up the sound of Alfred’s heavy footsteps. Knowing that’s her cue, the young girls slips off the table and dashes outside through the back door.

Bruce watches her flee with an astonished look on his face.

* * *

Alfred Pennyworth is not aware of the danger he’s about to enter when he takes a stroll down the garden and looks around, searching the two children. Since the street girl moved into the manor, they never seemed to leave each other’s side. Alfred was happy the young kid had someone to talk too, though, he did not appreciate the things Selina made him do.

Suddenly Alfred felt something soft fall onto his head. He brushed it off and watched as a daisy fell onto the ground.

Alfred was surprised when two more flowers hit his head and quickly he shook those off as well. Then he looks around, nervously. He saw nothing suspicious.

Alfred shrugged then resumed his stroll down the garden.

He stops for a second time and yelps in surprise when a shower of flowers fell down on his head. The flowers made him sneeze, horribly.

Nearby, behind a large flower pot, sat Selina, trying to hold a fit of laughter when Alfred makes an mad attempt to get rid of all the flowers.

* * *

“What do you think about that one?” Selina asked Bruce when she and the boy kneeled down behind a large dumpster, lurking at the people passing them by.

Bruce shakes his head and whispers; “Nah, he looks too stupid to be a criminal.”

Selina rolls her eyes; “What about her?”

“Do you really think a little girl could be a criminal?” Bruce asked, narrowing his eyes questioned.

Selina sighs; “Little children can be pretty sly.”

“You’d need to be one to know one.”

“Hey! I am not- ooh, how about him?”

Bruce shakes his head, again, then says; “I bet he’s a master villain.”

Selina follows Bruce’s gaze then nods agreed; “Let’s roll.”

Stalking from behind the dumpster the two children stared at the tall blond haired man who just passed by. Then they instantly followed, grinning madly.

* * *

 

Selina kneels down in the tall grass, stalking closer and closer at her target. Then, with a large and sudden leap, Selina jumps toward her target and grabs it with both hands.

“Got yah!”

Her target has now become her victim, and it chirped anxiously when Selina’s hands cupped around it. Then she dashes athletically back towards the large mansion.

“Bruce will be so proud.”

Once inside, Selina has to make sure no one sees her. She entered in the kitchen and found it empty. Then she quickly dashed outside the kitchen door, down the hallway, and up the stairs into Bruce’s bedroom. She shuts the door with her foot.

Selina walks towards Bruce’s bed and places her ‘prey’ onto the soft pillow then leaves.

An hour later, Bruce prepares to go to bed and enters his room when suddenly a little bird flies past him, trying to find a way back to his freedom.

Bruce instantly opened the hallway window and chased the bird out, gently. Once it was out, safely, Bruce turned around and meets a very displeased looking street girl.

“Bruce, when a cat brings you a present, you have to accept! That’s the rule!”

Bruce sighs tiredly then places his hand on Selina’s arm, sympathetically; “Selina, this might come as a major shock, but you are not a cat.”

Then, without another word, Bruce steps around the street girl and heads inside his bedroom, leaving Selina behind, stunned.


	2. Interrogations and Assassin Drills

Still grinning from ear to ear, Bruce and Selina followed the ‘suspicious’ looking man and when no one was around, Selina grabbed the man from behind and shoved him into the nearby alley.

“For who do you work?!” Selina shouted into the man’s face and pushed him with his back against the wall.

Being shaken up like a ragdoll, the man whimpers in fear; “I-I am working for no one!” Then he eyes both kids and frowns; “Wait, who are you two anyway?”

“Just two concerned citizens of the fair city of Gotham,” Selina replied and puffed her chest, proudly.

Bruce snorts; “FAIR city of Gotham?”

“Sorry, I got caught up in the moment.”

Thinking this was his chance to escape, the man slowly scurries away from the teens, but then feels himself being pushed back against the wall.

“Come on, just leave me alone!”

“For who do you work?!”

Bruce strokes his chin; “I think this man might be working together with the unicorns.”

Selina’s mouth drops agape. Did her friend just say, unicorns?

Bruce saw her agape look and shrugged, plaintively.

“Just let me go and find someone else to bother!”

Figuring Bruce’s idea might not be that bad, Selina zooms her face closer towards the man and penetrated her eyes murderously into his and scowls; “Tell us where to find your troops and what your plans are!”

The man looks at the kids as if they are crazy, ten stutters; “I don’t know what you…

“Don’t you play mind tricks with us!” Selina yelled and pushed the man up against the wall.

Bruce chimes in; “Alfred told us everything there is to know about unicorns, and they always baffle the mind before they attack!”

“I don’t even know how unicorns look like,” the man shrieked in fear, meeting the teens eyes, one at the time.

Selina grinds her teeth; “Oh, save it for Alfred!”

“Master Bruce! Where are you?!”

Bruce grins; “Ah, that would be him.”

Alfred comes around the corner of the alley and spots the two teens; “Ah, there you are! I’ve been looking for you for hours! Wait, who’s the chap?”

“NO! Please don’t hurt me!” the man screamed in fear and finally, Selina loosened her grip on him and he fled away.

“Yeah, you better run!” Selina yelled as loud as she could. “RUN!”

The poor man made a few terrible face-plants on the ground as he ran, but finally arrived at the other end of the alleyway and disappeared out of sight.

“Hey Bruce, maybe we should give you a bad-ass nickname, because you look so hot when you look all bad-ass. How about Bat?”

Bruce’s face got all blushed, but it instantly vanished right after hearing the name of the creature he fears the most.

“Selina, bats creep me out.”

Selina shrugs; “It suits perfectly with my name, Cat.”

Bruce frowns.

“You know, BatCat?”

Bruce starts to smile. BatCat definitely sounds perfect.

“Hey Alfred, guess what! Selina and I just came up with a team name.”

Alfred rolled his eyes then grunts; “Just get your butts into the car.”

* * *

 

Jim and Alfred relax in the kitchen and enjoy a nice cup of afternoon tea.

“AAAHHH!”

Selina stormed down the hallway and inside the kitchen. Jim and Alfred nearly dropped their cup of tea in shock.

“Miss Kyle, what happened?!” Alfred asked worried and jumped to his feet as if it was his second nature.

Selina mimics all kind of things then replied, breathlessly; “”They’ve got Bruce already!”

“Who got Bruce already?” Jim asked and instinctively grabs at his gun.

Selina finds comfort by leaning against the kitchen table and tries her best to not faint when she gasps; “Assassins! I tried to stop them, but…but…they are too strong for me alone! I think…I think they-“

Selina grabs for a seat and sits down.

Alfred grabbed his gun from his apron then he and Jim look questioningly at the pale looking girl.

“They are outside!” Selina choked out.

Without a moment of hesitation, Jim and Alfred charged down the hallway and out the front door then scan the garden to see if they could spot the assassins.  

“Where are they?!” Alfred shouted. He and Jim froze when footsteps approach them from behind. When they turn around, slowly, they find Bruce and Selina exiting the mansion, both staring at Bruce’s watch.

Selina holds her thumb up; “Not bad.”

“Yeah, it only took them 15 seconds to get outside. Very nice,” Bruce said ten frowns; “Though, I expected more emotions from Alfred. I mean, those ‘assassins’ could have hurt me badly.”

Selina nodded agreed then puffs her chest; “But my acting skills was spot on, wasn’t it? Anyway, they have another chance for tomorrow’s practice.”

The two teens were surprised when they met glares of rage.

* * *

 

“MIAUW!”

Alfred jolts straight up in his bed. Something had woken him up, but what?”

 **“** MMMMIIAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWW!”

A cold chill creeps up on Alfred’s spine, then he realizes it’s just their crazy house guest roaming through the secret passages.

“Miss Kyle, go back to bed!” Alfred roared and banged against the wall of his bedroom.

“Miauw?”

For the next few minutes it’s very quiet in the mansion. Alfred can even hear the clock thicking in the hallway outside, but his military, ninja like skills tells him she’s still in the secret passages.

“Miss Kyle, I’m warning you!” Alfred said and prepared himself to step outside his bed in case he needed to pummel her for not listening.

Much to his relief, the door of the secret passage to her bedroom opened with a squeak then Alfred heard the soft dash of her bare feet down the floor of her room before the creaking sound of her bed told him she stepped under her covers.

Satisfied with the way how he handled it, Alfred slides back under his own covers and closes his eyes.

Just when he’s drifting back to sleep…

“MIAUW!”

Alfred roared in rage, grabbed the baseball bat from under his bed and charged outside and into Selina’s room, chasing the girl out through the window.

 

 


	3. Prank Calls and Other Antics

Selina and Bruce jump outside the car. Alfred wanted to grab them but then saw Jim and decided to have a word with him about Selina’s antics.

“Listen up, kiddos!” Selina called out gleefully to the group of little children that are playing on the school’s playground. Bruce followed her closely.

Alfred instantly twirled around and saw the two teens step onto the playground and wanted to stop them but gets stopped by Jim and his partner, Bullock, and they told him everything would be fine. 

“We are going to tell you a very secretive piece of information,” Selina whispered, mysteriously.

“What is it?” a little boy squeaked in anticipation.

Bruce grins then steals a few glances at the three adult and says; “This might come as surprise for you…”

“But dear detective Bullock…” Selina adds.

Bruce smiles mysteriously; “Happens to…”

“Eat…”

“Little…”

“Toddlers!” Selina finally bellowed and all the children jump up with a fearful look in their eyes as they look at the three adults. Alfred and Jim both frown, but Bullock grins and waves.

“It’s the child eating monster!” the little boy screamed when he and his little friends run down the playground trying to find cover.

Bullock frowns, and Alfred mumbles; “I knew they were up to something!”

Selina and Bruce are grinning madly as they make way back to Alfred and the two cops.

* * *

 

“This is Jim Gordon,” Jim said soon after picking up his ringing phone.

Suddenly a woman with a sexy voice answers; “Hi baby, it’s me.”

“Uh, who is this?” Jim stammered then notices his partner, Bullock, quirk an eyebrow.

“Oh, come on, sweetie pie. Don’t do this to me. You know you want to see me again.”

 “Look lady, I don’t know who you are but I'm hanging up now.”

“But you haven’t heard the best part.”

“Yeah, and what would that be” Jim hissed sarcastically.

“I’m standing outside, waiting for you.”

And with that, Selina hangs up then she and Bruce drop to the floor, laughing their heads off.

* * *

 

Jim phone starts to ring, again.

“Yes?!”

“Is this Zac speaking?” the man on the other end of the line asked.

Jim sighs annoyed; “No, this is detective Jim Gordon.”

“Okay. Well, can I leave a message for Zac?”

 “Look, mister?”

“Tell him I ordered spaghetti, okay?” the male on the other end cut’s Jim off and hangs up leaving Jim speechless.

*A few minutes later*

“Yes”

 “Is this Brett speaking?” a British male voice asked.

Jim rubs his forehead in aggravation; “No, I am not Brett. Listen, if this is some sort of a prank call, I’m warning you…

“My name is Zac and I wanted to ask you if someone left me any messages?” the man, Zac, asked.

“Some idiot called and told me he ordered spaghetti and..”

“Did he mention anything about the body?”

Jim frowns; “Body? What body?!”

Bruce hangs up then joins Selina in an uproarious laughter.

Alfred walked in the room and looked at them, disapprovingly.

* * *

 

Bruce looks at his friend, worriedly; “Are you sure no one will notice their stuff is missing.”

Selina rolls her eyes then steps behind her ‘home-made’ market stand she and Bruce had set up right outside the manor gates.

“No way. You know how careful I am. And with the money we make, we can just buy them replacements…right after I got my well-earned pedicure and spa.”

Pedestrians start to gather around the boy and the girl and look at the items lying on the market stand.

“Now tell me what we can get for this lovely belt?!” Selina bellowed while Bruce showed the crowd, Jim Gordon’s belt. “Do I hear 5 bucks?! 7,12,15, SOLD!”

The auction went on and the young boy and the young girl got too caught up to notice the two angry males, Alfred and Jim, walking towards them, both looking as if they could kill them.

* * *

 

“Make way for Billionaire Bruce Wayne!” Selina shouted over the crowd as they walk down the streets of Gotham. Her arms swing madly around her in an attempt to clear the path.

Bruce snickered softly, but Alfred was not amused by it. He stepped past Bruce and grabbed the young cat-burglar’s sleeve then drags her aside.

“Stop it! We are supposed to be blending in, not drawing attention to ourselves!”

Selina smirks; “Blend in, really? I’m pretty sure everyone knows what Bruce Wayne looks like.”

Alfred pulled in a deep tired sigh and growls; “If you shout one more time, I will personally throw you back to Wayne Manor myself!”

And with that, Alfred walked back to Bruce and they continue their walk back to their limo. Selina shrugged and followed.

“Make way for Billionaire Bruce Wayne!” Selina shouted, stepping beside Bruce and Alfred. “Or his butler will personally throw you all the way to Wayne Manor himself!”

Alfred started to fume in anger.


	4. Tattoos and skinny dipping

The second Alfred parked the car, Selina bolted while dragging Bruce along and shouted to the butler they would catch up with him later. Alfred sighed tiredly knowing the young girl would bring his beloved young master into trouble, again.

And Alfred was right.

“Trust me, kid, you really need one,” Selina said when Bruce questioned her for walking into, according to her, the best tattoo-shop in the city. “It will make you look cool, tough, and maybe a bit cute as well.”

Selina batters her eyelashes at Bruce sending a bright red blush across his cheeks, then she shows him a tattoo of a cat.

“Do you like this one?”

“Give me one good reason why my tattoo should be a cat.”

“Then everyone knows you belong with me!” Selina cried ecstatically and hugged Bruce’s arm, tightly. Then noticing his bemused look; “Fine, then you’ll pick one of a bat and I tattoo this one on my body myself.”

Bruce starts to shuffle awkwardly; “Selina, you know I have an extreme fear of…

“Yeah, yeah, cut with this fear of bats crap. I just found one which will be perfect for you. It will make you look totally bad-ass.”

Selina grabs Bruce’s sleeve then drags him with her towards the tattoo-artist who’s just ready with preparing the right tools and ink.

Alfred speeds down the streets with shop glancing inside in every one of them as he rushed past by them then nearly scanned the tattoo shop too quickly, but a double-quick forced him to take a second glance and he saw his beloved master sitting down into the chair, reluctantly. Selina stood beside him, smirking and sending air kisses to encourage him.

“No way no!” Alfred roared then waltzed inside and grabbed Selina’s ear, hollering infuriated; “You come with me, Miss Kyle! I will not have you ruin master Bruce’s body!”

The butler ignores the young girl’s scowls and whimpers of pain as he drags her out the door, beckoning Bruce to follow. Bruce is way too relieved to disobey.

* * *

 

Bruce makes a late midnight stroll down the garden when he heard the sound of splashing water. He approaches the pool, curiously.

“Hiya, Bruce!” a sudden girl’s voice suddenly called out and that’s when Bruce saw Selina in the pool, waving at him madly. “You wanna join me?!”

Bruce looks around with an awkward look then whispers; “I didn’t bring my swim clothes.”

“Neither did I,” Selina said, loudly, and splashed water at Bruce who instantly froze solid after Selina’s comment. “Come on, don’t worry. It’s too dark to see anything anyway.”

Bruce starts to think for a second and eyes the girl in the pool. She’s right, he can hardly tell she’s wearing anything or not, but the idea of…

 _“Bruce, you can do it,”_ Bruce thought, giving himself some mental encouragement. Then he takes his clothes off before he can change his mind again and jumps into the pool, swimming closely towards Selina.

Selina swims closer as well then asks with a wide smirk; “Hey B, did I ever tell you I can see in the dark?”

A very pale, freaked out look appeared on Bruce Wayne’s face

* * *

 

It’s evening and Jim walks cheerfully towards the mansion, not aware of the danger that is lurking at him from inside one of the nearby bushes. Then suddenly an angry cat growl echoes through the air.

Jim halts in his tracks, abruptly. His cheerful mood is gone and with a frightened chill running down his spine, the cop scans the garden, but he finds nothing.

_“Ugh, I hate it when they do that.”_

A second cat like growl echoes nearby soon followed by a rustling sound in the bushes.

While stealing glances over his shoulder, Jim sprints towards the large mansion and starts wishing he didn’t left his car at the gate.

“MMMMIIAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim increases his speed of running but it’s already too late. Something big and heavy jumps onto his back and claws its nails straight through his uniform and into his skin. A high pitched yelp escaped from huis mouth as Jim tried to wrestle his attacker off, but the more he fought, the more his attacker clawed his back open, hissing, growling, and meowing like a deranged animal.

Suddenly the large front door opens and Alfred steps outside, cupping both sides of his mouth with his hands and bellows with booming voice; “Miss Kyle, how many times have I told yah, you are not a cat!”

Jim’s attacker slides back down to the ground then makes her exit back into the bushes while leaving a bewildered looking cop behind who feels his heart pounding in his chest.

* * *

 

“How many times have I told yah, don’t feed the stray cats!” Alfred said with booming voice as he walked into the kitchen and found the two kids eating breakfast.

Knowing the angry comment was directed to her more than to Bruce, Selina says; “Sssh, old man. Anger is not the key.”

Alfred stares at her, clearly stunned.

“Yes. Violent is not the answer,” Bruce added with an encouraging nod.

Alfred just couldn’t find his voice when he glanced at his young master, astonished.

“Let us be peaceful and forget the bad times,” Selina chimed in and suddenly she made some waves with her hands, throwing a pile of flower petals into the air which rained all down onto Alfred.

Bruce drags in a deep, low sigh and says with dreamy voice; “Let us take a moment and go to our happy place.”

Both kids closed their eyes as if they took their own advice. Alfred used it as an opportunity to grab the shrubs of Selina’s neck then dragged her outside the kitchen, kicking a screaming.

“Alfred, don’t hurt her! Think about your happy place!” Bruce yelled and rushed after his butler to stop him from hurting his only friend.

Selina yelled between whimpers of pain; “It’s no use, kiddo! I think his happy place was destroyed ages ago!”

* * *

 

Selina lingers down the hallway when she heard a sound coming from inside the study. After poking her head inside she saw it was Bruce, snoring happily on the couch. But the best part was, Alfred is nowhere to be seen.

The street girl dashes back up the stairs then returns with her make-up, hair clippets, and the fancy dress Bruce bought for her, just in case an occasion might call for it. To Selina, this was the occasion.

Selina stalks slowly and quietly towards the sleeping boy while doing her best to not laugh. Then she chooses the color bright orange and starts rubbing on the boy’s closed eyelids. Then a bit cherry red on his lips, a gentle touch of powder to give him a little blush, and some mascara for the finishing touch.

A few minutes later she managed to get the dress on without waking the boy then added the hair clippets into his hair and rushed outside the study to wait in the kitchen for her plan to unfold.

It didn’t take long. Bruce woke up then rises to his feet and starts strolling outside the study, sleepily. A few minutes later he finds Alfred preparing dinner in the kitchen while Selina tries to steal a few ingredients to fill her bottomless stomach.

“Hey B, how are you doing?” Selina asked while hiding a fit of laughter. “You look pretty today.”

Bruce quirks his eyebrow then turns around and heads upstairs to find out what Selina was talking about by looking into his bathroom mirror.

Ignoring Alfred’s very angry look, Selina starts to count; “One…two…three…” then Bruce’s screams echoes through the mansion.

“Selina, what have you done to me?!”

Indicating by the sound of Bruce’s quick and angry footsteps coming down the stairs, Selina knows she has to make her head-start.


End file.
